Caring For Children
Family & Community
Abdullaah Saalih Al Qasier
1) Raising children is an obligation
2) Seeking a righteous wife and a righteous husband
3) Invocations by husband and wife and asking Allah to make their children righteous
4) The messenger (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) teaches Amru Ibnu Salama
5) Justice between children
O People fear Allah in all your situations. For Allah's fearfulness and cautiousness is the best characteristic that you could have in your life and take provisions for the day of return and preserve the advise from Allah to you regarding your children for they are the greatest trust.
Allah says verses which translates as: "Those who faithfully true to their trust and duties and to their covenants and those who strictly guard their prayers these are indeed are inheritors who shall inherit paradise they shall dwell therein forever"(Mu'minun: 8-11).
Servants of Allah, Allah says which translates as: "Allah commands you as regards your children"(An-Nisa': 11). He Subhanahu Wa Taala also says which translates as: "O You who have believed word off yourselves and your families against a fire whose fuel is men and stones over which are angels stern and severe who disobey not from executing the commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded"(At-Tahreem: 6).
Additionally Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala says which translates as: "Enjoin prayer on your family and be patient in offering them, we ask not of you a provision, we provide for you and the good end is for the pious"(Taha: 132).
Allah commanded you as regards to your children to properly raise them, encouraging obedience and discouraging disobedience, and to command them and enjoin prayers on them, and to utilize their times with things that will have pleasant consequences and to punish among them those who stray away and are disobedient and follow their lusts and desires.
The Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said in the Hadith that is found in the Musnad of Al Imam Ahmad and Abu Dawood "Command your children to pray at age seven and at age ten punish them by hitting if they neglect it then separate between them in bed at the time of sleep". Servants of Allah, caring for children and adhering to the command and advise regarding them, starts with the man and women asking their Lord to provide them with the righteous spouse, with good manners and sound faith.
Allah says while praising the servants of Allah as in "Those who say our Lord bestow on us from our wives and our offspring's the comfort of our eyes and make us leaders of the pious"(Al-Furqan: 74).
Allah informed us of the story of Musa when he saw the girls of the righteous man, who were properly mannered and chaste. He says which translates as: "My Lord, truly I am in need of whatever good that you bestowed on me"(Al- Qasas: 24). This is how we must supplicate to Allah, asking him for a righteous wife that helps in being obedient.
In the book of Al Imam Bukhari and Muslim the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said as reported by Abu Hurairah Radhiyallahu Anhu " Win the religious wife, may your hand be dismayed with dust".
In the book of Al Imam Tirmidhi, he said in a Hadith addressing the guardians of women "If a man comes to you and you are satisfied with his manners and his religion, marry your daughter off to him".
Servants of Allah the second issue, which brings about joy and happiness, is that the husband and wife supplicate to Allah for righteous offspring.
As Allah informed us about Ibrahim, in Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala says that which translates as: "O My Lord make me one who perform prayer and from my offspring's or Lord and accept my invocations"(Ibrahim: 40). Ibrahim also said with Isma'il that which translates as: "Our Lord and make us submissive on to you and of our offspring's a nation submissive on to you"(Al-Baqarah: 128).
Allah says regarding Zakariyah, which translates as: "O My Lord, grant me from you a good offspring's you are indeed the all hearer of invocations "(Aal-Imran: 38).
Allah says when mentioning invocations of parents that which translates as: "If you give us a righteous child we shall indeed be among the grateful"(Al-A'raf: 189).
This proves that a righteous child is one the greatest bounties and favors from Allah. Why would it not be when the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) mentioned in the book of Al Imam Muslim " When the son of Adam dies, he loses benefit from his deeds except from three. A charity that is continuous in benefit, beneficial knowledge and a righteous son that supplicates for him".
Servants of Allah! Adhering to the command and advise of Allah concerning children and family, is to be sincere in supplicating for them to have all good. Not to curse them even at the time of anger, that is because the supplications for or against the child is accepted. Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala informed us about Ibrahim when he supplicated for his offspring when he said which translates as: "Keep me and my sons away form worshiping idols"(Ibrahim: 35). Therefore, Allah accepted his supplication and made his sons Prophets to guide humankind.
In the book of Imam Muslim reported by Jaabar, the messenger (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said: "Don't curse yourselves and don't curse your children and don't curse your wealth because you might coincide with an hour of acceptance with Allah, then he accepts the supplications and replies".
Fathers and mothers, take care of your children, raise them righteously to be grateful and they will be helpful and heavier on your scale on the Day of Judgment, even though they might be at a young age because teaching and raising properly from a young age is like someone engraving on rocks, it stays and its effect is lasting.
Hassan Ibnu Ali Radhiyallahu Anhuma when he was a young child crawling on the floor took a date from the dates of charity and put it in his mouth. The Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) took it out of his mouth threw it away and said "Did you not know that we, meaning the household of the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) cannot eat from property of charity".
Amru Ibnu Salama Radhiyallahu Anhuma said: "I was a young boy under the care of the messenger (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) and my hand use to go around the dish while eating. He said to me (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) "O Boy, say Bismillah, and eat with your right hand and eat of the dish what is near to you". Then Amru said "Since that I have applied those instruction while eating", and he (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) also said: " Command your children to observe prayers at the age seven and at the age ten punish them by hitting if they neglect Salah and separate them at the time of sleep".
The command of the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) to separate between children at the time of sleep comes as a deterrent to prevent corruption and to bring the attention of the Muslim Nation of their obligations to safe guard and preserve the religion.
O Muslims, it is the right of your children upon you for you to be just between them when giving gifts. The Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) said to one man "Your children have the right on you to be just between them ".
The Salaf use to desire this justice even in the distribution of kisses. The reason for that is, one of the companions specified the child in giving a gift, and wanted the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) to attend to that and testify to it. So the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) said "Did you do that with the rest of your children". He said: "No". The prophet said: "Wouldn't you like that they all have the same level of dutifulness towards you". He said: "Yes ". The prophet said: " Then fear Allah, and be just between your children". In another narration, he said to him: "Get someone else to testify on this, I do not testify to oppression".
In another narration he said: "I only testify to that which is the truth", so that man companion when back, took that gift back and was just between his children.
So, fear Allah, O Servants of Allah, and adhere and preserve the command and advise of Allah to you concerning your children and remember your position in the day of resurrection. As Allah says that which translates as: "The day when a near relative can not avail another near relative in ought, and no help can they receive" (Ad-Dukhan: 41).
May Allah bless you and I with the guidance of the Qur'an.