Thanks for the info

Away Messages, Quotes & Sayings

Bathroom:

-ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ

If your wondering where the P is... its about to run down my leg in a second.

-The rabbit goes nibble, the cow goes moo, the pig goes oink, and I go poo!

-Drop me a message while I drop something in the toilet!

-You know you are addicted to the internet when you refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

Bored:

-You must be bored to if you are reading people's away messages. I must be bored if I am telling you how bored you are.

-I could be doing so many different things right now but, I couldn't decide. Because of my indecisiveness, I have "chosen" to be bored.

-Boredom is my best subject. I'm studying it right now.

Food:

-I'm away eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner. If you're smart, you'll figure out which one it is.

-Filling my tummy with something very yummy.

-I would talk to you but my mom told me never to talk wih my mouth full.

- I'm doing that thing. You know, the one where you pick the food up, put it in your mouth, swallow it, then repeat the process until the stomach hurts.

Friendship:

-A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "That was awsome."

-True friends are like Chinese take out, they are; depenable, enjoyable, and just a phone call away.

-On eBay looking for a friend...they have good deals you know!

-A good friend will pick you up when you fall; but a best friend will help you up, laugh and trip you again.

Funny:

-Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for YOUR SCREEN NAME , your message will be answered to in the order in which it was recieved, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.

-There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

Which of the three are you?

- I'm not talented enough to type and pick my nose at the same time.

- Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

-He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

-I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

-I dropped my keyboard when I find it I'll get back to you.

-WARNING: Cannot locate away message, please restart your computer and try back in 365 days.

Girls:

-Girls are like phones, they liked to be held, and talked to but if you push the wrong button you will get disconnected.

-Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

-Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?

-Coffee, chocolate, and men. Some things are just better rich.

-Guys are like parking spots...All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

-There once was a boy who wanted to be really smart. So that night he wished upon a star and in the morning he was a girl.

-God made man before women because you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.

-Waiting for the right guy, meanwhile having fun with all the wrong ones.

-My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Makes You Think:

-What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

-Did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow...
And 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?

-Isn't it scary to know what doctors do for a living is called "practice"?

-Why is it that when something is sent in a car, it's called a shipment, yet when it's sent in a ship, it's called cargo?

-If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?

-Why do people ask if they can "borrow" a piece of paper? Do they really plan on returning it.

-You Know the saying "Quit while your ahead". Well, if you are ahead why would you want to quit?

  You don't like him? He is my honney You better be lying,otherwise u are in a big trouble   

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and, that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.

We could learn a lot from crayons ...
some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors ...
but they all have to learn to live in the same box.

 

omg, how funny

Are we like that?

Life is a B.itch. 
I am so f.u.cking sick and tired of some people. Ohhhh God i wanna kill someone. I just wanna leave this place, forget about everything, everyone,go to a freaken island and stay there by myself.

Pls dont mind me, i am f.u.cking mad right now.

PS: Jam cmendur

"If you're protecting something of value, you need more than just a lock. You need to manage the keys."